I just found you all! I was wondering who might be reading our words but not writing & so hoping they were gentle souls (I do like my privacy. Obsessively.) I’m so happy to find you here. Grief, inner whisperings, stress, lockdown, disassociating, how to be a human, parental death and siblings- you’ve all done my intro for me!
I am so, so tired of my life. I’m sick to death of everything. Lockdown stops me from accessing the things which soothe me, my mother thinks I will be looking after her now my step dad has died (I love her in 5 minute doses. She’s a narcissist & her values are so, so different to mine), my 22 year old is becoming more and more difficult to be with and needs watching carefully, my brothers are SO insensitive and I can’t actually stand to be within 10 feet of one of them but death in the family brings you all together. Right? I’m in carer burnout. I’m struggling to live in the suburbs. I’m REALLY isolated. My functioning levels are low – celebrate with me for days as I manage to fill the car with petrol.
I love my bed, our dog and 2 cats. My daughter. The nature strips have large deciduous trees to lean on. I love the sea with all my heart and need to return to living with her. Flowers. Blues and greens, especially blues. Music. The inner north of Melbourne. The horizon. Huge spaces.