07/12/2020 at 3:38 pm #30502Leanne MattonKeymaster
Hopefully by now you’ve had enough time to make your lists of what helps you to ground when you begin to feel triggered.
Coping statements help you avoid triggering your nervous system into dysregulation in the first place.
On page 7 of your workbook there’s an outline of some ways to reframe the times we get anxious about being anxious, angry about being angry etc – they won’t work once you’re there but they can help as a preventative.
See if you can list some of your own as this list only covers a few examples. To start with you’ll need to identify some of the thoughts that you notice when you doubt yourself and put yourself down.
Being an observer of our thoughts rather than automatically believing them helps us to challenge and reframe them.
Here’s one of mine:
I have been known to complain a lot – instead of labelling myself a “whinger” and telling myself to shut up, my reframe of this has been that my complaints have helped me to recognise what isn’t working for me and identify how to make adjustments and improvements (in my work, relationships, habits and health etc).
Ok your turn!12/12/2020 at 6:21 pm #30504
My coping statements are in play every day. Every part of the list of examples are coping behaviors that I’ve used for protection. The one area that my insides wrestle with is the homeostasis of self-criticism. it feels like that moment that I freed myself from the critical environment of my childhood, I elected to continue the criticism inside my own head. It feels just like home. I talk back to it, reframe it, and make improvements daily, but that voice continues to live inside. A hungry ghost in my head.
My best work on internal housecleaning is in accepting that martyr part inside me. I can go into the martyrdom too much. My coping statement that works on this behavior is to tell myself that “you have had way more than a fair share, and it’s okay to feel the martyr when needed.” I seem to martyr along less when i validate myself like I wish others would. A wound of mine is “not being seen.” Each time I see myself in my various parts, I put back another little shred of my torn to bits soul. That’s what the coping statements do for me.12/12/2020 at 6:32 pm #3050517/12/2020 at 6:18 am #30510Leanne MattonKeymaster
What a beautiful image and words ? I understand about the self-criticism, it almost feels like it’s trying to protect us from failure but it’s so overzealous because it doesn’t seem to believe we can do anything right at all. I sometimes try to talk to it like it’s a scared child, letting it off the hook of being responsible for my safety. The adult part of me can do that now. My friend even gives that part of herself child activities to do, like playing with crayons, while she gets on with the scary adult things ? I love that you let all parts of yourself be here.18/12/2020 at 3:37 pm #30513
What a lovely coping idea to let the scared little child off the hook. Playing is another great idea to cope. I’m not letting myself play enough. Need to read this and remind myself to keep “playing” with the coping skills as I move along in healing.
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