Day 0

[seadreamer60]

Trigger warning: death

Good Morning from grey Melbourne, Australia where we are still in lockdown. I am allowed to escape from our 5km radius bubble to provide care for my ageing parents. My step dad of 44 years, whom I am so, so fond of, is spending his last days on earth in a hospital bed. I’m snatching a few precious moments of quiet with morning coffee in bed, music playing gently and writing to you.

I’m good with death. It’s just so sad. Not scary or new or foreign to me. Just sad. I’m well used to sad. Grief is tiring and I feel worn to the bone. I watch my mum looking bereft and confused. I watch my stepdad rouse every now and again and give her beatific smiles of love and whisper in his strained voice for her to sit down and rest; then he floats off away again riding the currents of his own death. These are the gentle times before they can no longer ever hold each others hands and all the paper work and decisions, decisions, decisions intrude. Before the word “alone” has taken over your identity.

My writings this round may be full of my feelings of what is happening now. I will be juggling past losses with this new one. My relationship with my blood family is complicated. I still need protecting from them. Life is already hard to navigate. I had better ring the hospital. I’m grateful to have you here to write to. Even if you don’t read, your presence is a gift to me.

[Rosie]

Dear SeaDreamer60

Namaste from the Central Coast of NSW. I hear you. Loss can certainly be a catalyst for change. In recent weeks I was honoured and privileged to accompany my elderly mum on the last of her most glorious unfolding so I have empathy for your journey. I know two things I have not been with myself since and that is kind and gentle, so I would just like to encourage you to be that for yourself as these days and weeks ahead evolve. Blessings.

Rosie

[Leanne Matton]

Jule, so glad you’re here and have a place to write it all down, the old and the new and all that comes with that between the lines that goes unsaid 💓

[Leanne Matton]

Rosie, a gentle and kind welcome to you here and I’m so sorry for your loss x

[seadreamer60]

<3 <3 <3

[Anonymous]

Love to you sea dreamer as you journey through all that’s presenting itself to your heart 💜

[Leanne Matton]

Welcome Andrea 😊

[seadreamer60]

Thank you Rosie, Andrea and Leanne. You all have such lovely energy, it’s so sweet to be here with you. Rosie, your loss is so recent. Hopefully we can find the path to being kind and gentle and honest and true. Grief is such a journey. xxxxxxxx

[Author]

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